Mother's Day Rocks!

This is what I got for Mother's Day. Okay, along with 2 dozen roses and a set of wine glasses. Mother's Day rocks!

My current favorite wine:

IL Bastardo Sangiovese Rosso di Toscana

You can find it at the grocery store for about $7-$8 (at least around here). I call it "sick bastard." That should help you at the grocery store when you are in the wine department. Ask someone where the "sick bastard" is. You can thank me later!

Here You Want It?

I was in line at the grocery store. There was a little girl sitting in the cart in front of me. Her mom was in front of the cart so I was next to her. She was probably 3 or so.

She was just digging in her nose. I mean I was trying not to stare but it was ugly. Half her finger was in there.

Then as her Mom pulled the cart towards her the little girl pulls out a booger and extends her arm to me.

Can I Have Some Tongs Without the Red Stuff?

Just to make my life a little crazier, I have decided that we will eat at least 2 meals a week as a family. I am used to feeding the kids right at 5pm then having dinner for 2 with hubby later.

For our first family dinner I serve spaghetti. Before I sat down I loaded the kid’s plates up.

My 5-year-old: points at the spaghetti noodles and asks, "What is that?"

Me: I know that she knows what noodles are so I think maybe she is talking about the kitchen tongs I used to serve the noodle. I say, "Those are tongs."

My 5-year-old: "Okay, can I have some tongs without the red stuff?"

Ask Me How I Broke My Finger

Running with the dog! Guh!

My dog hates and I mean hates other dogs. She is super sweet and loves people but she just hates other dogs.

I had her on a leash and I was running along. I look up and see a boxer and a yellow lab coming at me. No owner. I yell at them but there was no stopping them. It was like a train wreck. I knew what was going to happen because my dog is also a badass.

I gave her the slack in the leash. She kicked both of their assess and sent them on their way crying. I started to run again. Then I start thinking, "Hmmm, my finger hurts." I get home and it was throbbing. Now it has doubled in size.

The doctor gave me a splint and told me it would feel better in about 2 weeks.

Good times!

Normal Mom

I have one player on my soccer team that I pick up and take to practice every week. Her mom then comes up to practice and brings her home. She lives very close. No big deal.

Every time I show up to pick her up her mom is surprised. It completely cracks me up. The lady runs a day care out of her house. She has probably 8 kids.

Last week we got there to pick up her daughter and there was a note on the door saying they were playing in the backyard. I went in the backyard and there she was at the swing set with all "her" kids. She looked at me with that surprised look.

her: "You are early." She insisted.

me: "No, really not. Practice starts in 5 minutes."

her: "Ok. Take my daughter and I will meet you out front with her water in a minute."

me: "Ok" I take her daughter and we both get in the car with my kids.

her: She comes flying out of the house with the water bottle in her hands. She comes up to the car and hands it to me. "Ok, I can't find my car keys. If I don't show up to practice can you just bring her home?"

me: "I love you because you are so normal!"

She did find the keys and come get her daughter.

Dreadmill

I haven't been on the dreadmill in a while. The kids don't have school today so no running with the dog for me!

2.21 miles in 20 minutes. Woot!

Sleepover Bloody Sleepover

Remember a week ago when I was trying to figure out whether or not to let my Kindergartner spend the night at another little girls house? Well, we decided not to let her go because we did not know the other family very well and she had not even been to their house to play.

We "fixed" the situation with the kids by having my Kindergartner niece spend the night here for the Kindergartner. She is my sister's daughter and lives about 10 minutes away. I don't have to tell you that they love each other - lots. They had a great time.

Well, you guessed the other half of the equation. My first grader had to have someone over as well. She invited a really sweet little girl from the soccer team I coach. We know the family well and they have known me through soccer for a couple years. They also live about a quarter mile from us.

So all is well. Hubby and I sit out back and the girls play in the backyard until dark. We then send them in to take a shower and get ready for bed. They all seem to be tired so that is a good thing. I put the little girls in the guest room with a movie around 9pm and they both fall asleep. I put the big girls in my kid’s room with a movie and they play, play, play.

At 9:30pm my 1st grader calls me upstairs and the other little girl is crying. They won't tell me what happened but she seems okay. They both seem tired so I tell them to lie down and watch the movie so no one gets hurt again. About 10 minutes later my 1st grader is yelling down that her friend needs a band aid. I am thinking - whatever. So I go upstairs with a band aid. Her friend's hip is bleeding. It looks like it was bleeding pretty good but they did not call me up until it had stopped. I guess they thought they would be in trouble so they refused to tell me what happened. I was horrified! I put a band aid on it and that was the last I heard from them until morning.

I took the big girls to get donuts in the morning and they still would not tell what happened. When her mom came to pick her up I just told her that she had a cut on her hip but they would not tell what happened. I didn't want her mom to think I just let them to whatever and had no idea what was up. She has two brothers so her mom seemed un-phased by the whole thing.

So last night the 1st grader spent the night at someone's house. I let the Kindergartner invite a friend over. This is a friend of mine's daughter so all is well. She has been to the house many times and she is comfortable. They had a great time. I let them play until 9pm then went up to put a movie on. When I went downstairs I could hear lots of playing upstairs. I really did not care since they don't have school today. Pretty soon my daughter is yelling down that her friend is crying. I go upstairs and she is holding Kleenex to her mouth and I see lots of blood!

I stay calm and bring her downstairs. I ask my daughter what happened and she says they were jumping on the bed and her friend fell on the floor. I get the blood cleared away and find that she was bleeding on the inside and outside of her lip. It was fairly swollen as well. I calmed her down and gave her some ice. Then she announced she had a loose tooth. I checked it out and sure enough she had knocked a front tooth loose. I am totally feeling like parent of the year here. I took them back upstairs and put the moving back on. As I was tucking my daughter in I saw a bloody spot on the white, wooden frame of her bed. I asked and it was true. Her friend had done a face plant right on to the wood. I felt awful for her.

I checked back with them 20 minutes later and all seemed well. I called her mom around 9:30pm and told her that her daughter had got hurt. Again, this child has an older brother so she totally understood. They are up this morning and all seems well other than a swollen lip.

Can I not have a sleepover without blood? Maybe it's true what they say: No blood, no party! Well, I guess I better go check the mailbox for my mother of the year award. NOT!

Tongue!

I am the Daisy Girl Scout assistant leader. My good friend is the leader. Her daughter is a trip!

At the end of the meeting the other day our fearless leader comes out with this game she learned in Girl Scout training. The game is called Daisy to Daisy. They each get a partner and the one without a partner is the caller. The caller says a body part and the partners have to touch that body part. So the first caller says "elbow". They all touch elbows and giggle. The caller says "knee." They all touch knees and giggle. The caller then says "Daisy to Daisy." That means they all get a new partner and we have a new caller. So the leader's daughter is the caller. All the girls are giggling and looking at her intently. Without hesitation and as loud as she could she yells, "tongue!" I am just dying trying not to laugh out loud. Her mother freaks out and says "say something that it is ok to touch."

They are in such trouble when this kid is a teenager. Even in my head I was waiting for one of the girls to say butt. I had not even got to tongue!

Where Is The Fire?

Last night when I prepared dinner the kids were playing in the other room. I called from the kitchen for them to come for dinner. Here is the result:

The 7 Year Old: Comes running out to the kitchen. "Mom, where's the fire?"
Me: "Huh?"
The 7 Year Old: "The way you were shouting I thought there must be a fire."

Arrrhhh! I have no idea where that came from.